Dalmation rides a bike

(h/t BikeHacks) This is one funny video and quite amazing. Watch this dog get on the bike and ride. One day he might even lose his training wheels :). Enjoy.

Greek aphorisms updated for recumbent riders

I stole this from Garrie Hill and Jeff Hunn.

Ancient Greek	Modern
Know thyself.	Know your bike
Nothing in excess	No such thing as too much riding or too many bikes
Aid friends	Stop to aid cyclists in need
Control Anger	Don't get angry with the DFer; just blow by him on the next downhill
Shun unjust acts	Don't steal another's ride
Acknowledge sacred things.	Pursue the biking holy grail: light, strong & cheap
Hold on to learning.	Know how to adjust your ride
Praise virtue.	Praise other bentriders, for they have seen the light
Avoid enemies	Ignore the UCI
Cultivate kinsmen	Gather with other bikers and RIDE!!!
Pity supplicants	Don't curse the headwinds; ride a lowracer
Accomplish your limit.	Give HPRA racing a try
When you err, repent	Apologize when you cut in front of another racer because you failed to use your mirror!
Consider the time.	Give HPRA racing a try
Repeat not	Recumbancy, not redundency
Worship the divine	Carbon Fiber is kewl!!!
Accept old age.	Don't give in without a fight -- ride streamlined

Funny

Check out these suggested names for Ben & Jerry's Bush themed ice cream flavors. Quite amusing. My favorite:

I broke the law and am responsible for the deaths of thousands...with nuts

Rahm (humor)

Ezra Klein penned one of the funniest paragraphs I have read this season when talking about the stimulus bill.

I'm half ready to believe that Rahm convinced Ben Nelson to ratfuck the Republicans. "Get them to cut school construction for poor kids," he (might have) told a visibly nervous Nelson. "It's the most sympathetic item in the bill. It's clear stimulus. It makes sense long-term. It's easy for reporters to understands and voters to remember. It will define the bill as obviously worth, undermine Republican attempts to paint it as a porkfest, completely discredit the centrists, and Nancy Pelosi will simply replenish the funds in conference committee." Then he bit the head off a bear, punched through a wall, and asked Nelson if he didn't mind helping out.

Now that is an image.

Dark Humor

All Your Republicans belong to Limbaugh

(h/t - FDL)

GOP revels in powerlessness

The House Republicans was very proud of being the party of NO yesterday. They decided their leader, Rush Limbaugh, had it right. The US Economy should fail, since Americans had the bad taste to vote Democratic for President, for Congress and for the Senate. Since Republicans are the minority party though, they couldn't actually stop the Stimulus bill or the Nadler amendment. But that didn't stop them from celebrating.

I made sure to call my Congressman and thank him for his vote for the stimulus and the Nadler amendment. I also called my Senators and asked them to support the stimulus and infrastructure spending as it now goes to the Senate.

The video linked above is Colbert being Colbert. He is amazing.

Good quotes

What did Gandalf tell Grima?

Keep your forked tongue behind your teeth. I have not passed through fire and death to bandy crooked words with a witless worm.

Great quote, I should remember it.

Cute Video

Cute video. I would never have known about it except BillO decided it was bad and hate-filled. Now that it has national attention it will go viral in a big way. That makes me quite happy.

History

This is just incredibly funny.

Christmas eating guide for off-season cyclists

I gleaned this guide from a mailing list for randonneurs. Quite funny and good to read.

Following are some tips for cyclists worried about off season training. Well, you can worry about that after Jan 1.
Give yourself a break!
After all, didn't you put in 1,000 or 5,000 or 10,000 butt-searing kilometers on that saddle this past season?

And won't you be out there the very second that there's a narrow strip of visible tarmac along your favourite country road through the spring snowdrifts and run-off?

This is the season to rejoice one of the prime reasons why we cycle so hard during the season -- so we can eat, eat and eat some more!

With that in mind, here's the holiday eating guide for off-season cyclists:

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rumballs.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare.In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Holiday Time!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a road bike with suspension forks!
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a holiday party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hellooo ?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Thanksgiving?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips;
    start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

AND LAST BUT BY NO MEANS LEAST:

Remember that...

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine glass in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

Hunters beware, your prey isn't always so facile

A hunter recently discovered that his prey was not as helpless as it appears in a recent incident occurring in Montana. I think this hunter rediscovered the risks of hunting include more than just indiscriminate hunters who fire at anything that moves and Dick Cheney.

Best XKCD ever

Best XKCD ever

I love the mouseover text.

SUPERBARAK

This is a classic. I love it.

Great line from the New Yorker

David Sedaris at the NYer

I don’t know that it was always this way, but, for as long as I can remember, just as we move into the final weeks of the Presidential campaign the focus shifts to the undecided voters. “Who are they?” the news anchors ask. “And how might they determine the outcome of this election?”

Then you’ll see this man or woman— someone, I always think, who looks very happy to be on TV. “Well, Charlie,” they say, “I’ve gone back and forth on the issues and whatnot, but I just can’t seem to make up my mind!” Some insist that there’s very little difference between candidate A and candidate B. Others claim that they’re with A on defense and health care but are leaning toward B when it comes to the economy.

I look at these people and can’t quite believe that they exist. Are they professional actors? I wonder. Or are they simply laymen who want a lot of attention?

To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. “Can I interest you in the chicken?” she asks. “Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?”

To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.

Hilarious, and true. It is nice to see mainstream press owning up to the utter disparity between the candidates.

quite funny

I love the Air Quote line.

Geek Cred

from Shortpacked

I realize this is DC universe and so not as cool but still nice reference.

Offered without comment

SNL

This is so funny that I had tears in my eyes. It is also Amy Poehler's last skit on SNL, she just gave birth and reports say she won't be returning to SNL. It is an incredible skit, make sure to watch it.

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